In Favor Of Disorder

By Carla Foote

Like everyone else, I cleaned my office on the first weekend in January, sorting, filing, recycling, shredding and generally creating a clean environment for my work. I am a fan of clean spaces and organization.

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It only took until Monday afternoon of my first day in my clean office to feel like I was grasping for ideas and creative energy. My productive morning of editing and scheduling content morphed into an afternoon devoid of ideas. A problem that order couldn't solve.

So I took a break from work to exercise and do a couple of errands, and all of a sudden I had more creative energy. While I was walking my brain was hopping around to various ideas related to my recent reading. When I got into the car for my errands, the random ideas coalesced into better ideas. I jotted notes on a gas receipt so I wouldn't lose the thoughts. My afternoon provided energy that the clean office couldn't.

As my brain was mulling over the relationship between organization and creativity, or the divergence between those two concepts, I wondered about true geniuses. People like Einstein. A picture of him popped into my head. On the outside, he looked pretty disorganized - the hair definitely gave that impression. I googled a picture of his desk - definitely disorder there.

 

Perhaps our quest for organization is actually squelching our creativity. The more I thought about this, the more I realized it might be true.

Breakthroughs and great ideas come from divergent thinking. Otherwise, checklists and project management would have solved all the world's problems already. A bit of irony here, because I teach workshops in project management, and I do believe in systematic processes and a smooth schedule. But within the overall plan, we need space for creativity to flourish, or our outcomes will be boring and repetitive. Even the nature of God speaks to both system and open-ended, as we see the order of God's creation and the unpredictable work of the Spirit.

I wrote this blog post early in January, but I held it to the end of the month, because those of you who love organization might not have believed my plea for a bit of disorder, especially right after you spent all that time getting everything in order. Now

Read a bit more about the "Valley Seasons"

I feel ready to share, because you have tried order for a month, and maybe you are craving some creativity.

Maybe February will be a better month for creative energy, because our desks are

now a little less organized, there are sticky notes with ideas stuck to our monitors, and there is a chocolate holiday smack-dab in the middle of the month. Something definitely lacking in January.  

Carla Foote recently gave up the structure of an editorial job with a ministry for freelance work. She is the blog manager for FullFill and also works with a variety of clients at www.FinePrintEdit.com. She is always seeking the best way to meld creativity and order. She alternates time at her desk with time outdoors.

The January Self

By Jennifer Grant

 

January gets its name from Janus, the god of beginnings and endings, omens and auspicious occasions. The ancient Romans depicted Janus with two faces. With one, he saw the past; the other looked into the future. Hundreds of years before the birth of Christ, a temple was consecrated to Janus, and his image was imprinted on Roman coins. Ancients made him offerings of honey at the start of the year in hopes that the year ahead would be sweet. 

I hate to confess it - both as a person living thousands of years after his coins went out of circulation and especially as a believer in Jesus- but my own thinking has often been just as magical as a Janus-worshipper.

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Although I've never offered honey to mythical gods, how many times have I worked to craft the right resolutions, to make a purge of unhealthy habits, and to gather up the right kind of momentum (emotional, relational, spiritual) for the new year in hopes that it will be a good one for me?

Scripture doesn't concern itself about how satisfied I'll feel this year, whether my Klout score or number of "followers" is going up, or if I feel appreciated or understood by those I love or wish to impress. Instead, again and again, it's about detachment from self. We're supposed to count others more significant than ourselves (Phil. 2:3). We're not to insist on our own way or be resentful (I Cor. 13:5). We're supposed to "decrease" (John 3:30).

Most of all, we are invited - urged, actually - to love.

It's hard to detach, let go, and love when we're addicted to the stories we tell ourselves about our lives. We feel owed something. We want to be "seen." We want to feel fully loved.

Have you read our "Resting Place" article from our latest issue Forgiveness?

But we're disappointed, always, because - to quote country singer Johnny Lee - we're "lookin' for love in all the wrong places." Author Richard Rohr has said that when we don't understand God's unconditional love, we go to each other "begging and demanding rewards that only God can give."

Why, we wonder, are some of the most joyful people on the planet those who have experienced great scarcity or loss? Maybe it's because they are not obsessed with the self. You'll never find this sort of person offering honey to the gods in return for happiness. Maybe, in their place of exhaustion, silence, or detachment, they have come to rest, gratefully, in God's abiding love.

May we all come to do the same.

--

Jennifer Grant is the grateful mother of four, author of Love You More, MOMumental, Disquiet Time (forthcoming, 2014), and 12: A Daybook (forthcoming) and is online at jennifergrant.com.

Out of My Shell

By Elisabeth K. Corcoran

When we hear criticism, we are given a list of ways to handle it. All good ways. All ways I've tried. Things like look to God to define you. Done. Zero in on what he's placed in your life to do. Check. Get yourself around people who love you and know you. In spades. Put yourself back out there. So desperately trying.

I use all these strategies regularly. I'm a writer, so my life is in the public eye, for anyone to see and comment on. And I'm divorced, so this leaves me susceptible to harsh words of disapproval.

But recently I found myself stuck in a place that these strategies for handling criticism didn't work. The criticism I was receiving was based on my own wrong-doing.

   

I said some hurtful things about someone I cared about. I was reckless with my mouth and with this person's heart. I have been paying for that five-minute mistake for months now. Because what came out of that was a tongue-lashing that I cannot move past no matter how hard I try.

I did mess up.

But I also did every step of the amends process that I could think of. And though I was told I was forgiven, harsh words and consequences came that have left me branded and benched in one area of my life. Probably not shockingly, those labels have followed me into every other area of my life as well.

I can't just shake these things off and chalk it up to the other person being a critic who doesn't count, or being a stranger who doesn't know my heart. No. This person knew me pretty well. And this person said things and made some decisions that have scarred me.

I have done all the steps I know to move on. I have asked forgiveness from God, numerous times, and from this person, more than I probably needed to. I have asked Jesus what is true in all of this. I have actively made changes in my behavior. I have asked Jesus who he says I am, how much he loves me. All of that and more.

Read "When Forgiveness Doesn't Come" from our latest issue!

My concern is that though I have moved on, I have moved on as a timid creature, dragging behind me the haunting shell of those words that were proclaimed over my life. I have moved on, but as a ghost. I have moved on, but my heart is still back there and so bruised and cowering for shelter.

If I am waiting for that person to give me a second chance, I will be waiting forever.

If I am waiting for Jesus to give me a second chance, he already has. Again and again and again.

So it looks like my next step is now squarely on me. I need to choose to accept God's forgiveness. I need to choose to let this go and surrender it. I need to choose to move on, leaving the shell behind.

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But in this small moment, dark and cold and grey outside ... dark and cold and grey inside ... I can't just yet. I am open. I am so very ready. I can't tell you how desperately I never want to think about this again. So while I'd like to say I'm bravely doing more, I'm not. I do what I can: I beg Jesus to move in and heal this part of me that is so wounded it feels like it might not recover. So come, Lord Jesus, come, I am begging you.

Elisabeth Klein Corcoran is the author of Unraveling: Hanging Onto Faith Through the End of a Christian Marriage, speaks regularly to women's groups, and is a member of Redbud Writers' Guild. She now focuses her attention on women who are in hurting marriages or find themselves divorcing. She lives with her children in Illinois. Visit her online athttp://www.elisabethcorcoran.com/ or https://www.facebook.com/ElisabethKleinCorcoran.

From Needy to "Asky"

By Elisa Morgan, Publisher, FullFill

Needy. I'm not crazy about this word. Oh, let's be honest: I don't like it at all. I prefer independent. Self-sufficient. Autonomous.

Needy isn't safe because when we're needy and our needs aren't met, we hurt. When we are needy, our yearning leans us onto the edge of pain. For food. For drink.

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For friendship. For help. For hope. Our needy makes us greedy for release. In the face of needy, we often choose numbness, denial or distraction as our method of

avoidance.

Yet there's a refreshing honesty - and fulfillment - in experiencing our needy. When

we accept our needy, then we can move toward our needs being met in real relationships with God and with others.

Hmmmm. Is the solution to being needy to learn to be asky? If so... I'm stepping off.

Have you given to FullFill to fill others?

I'm needy. So now, I'm asky.

December is "Give Back Month" at FullFill. And we're

nearly at the end of December. In order to meet our budget of $25,000 - that's all it costs for us to provide FullFill

FREE to all women everywhere! - we need you to prayerfully consider giving.

In order to be the best version of themselves and to live out their influence, women need encouragement. Women need inspiration. Women need empowerment and training and perspective. And here at FullFill we believe women need what we offer.

Name your number? $500 underwrites 500 women. $50 provides for 50 women. Will you meet the need? Will you give back

Watch Elisa's Video to learn how you can help!

?

FullFill is dependent on your help. In this way, we are needy. And so now we're asky. Could you maybe be givey?

"And my God will meet all your needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Mary: From Ordinary to Extraordinary

By Alexandra Kuykendall

We know her simply as Mary. Mother of Jesus.

She was an unlikely world changer. A girl by our standards, hardly influential in her culture’s power

paradigm.


Then heaven cracked open and the divine intervened. This miracle that would not only change her life, it

would change the world until the end of time.

 
It certainly wasn’t a calling she’d asked for, at least as far as we know. I’m guessing, if and when she

innocently prayed “Lord use me” and maybe even, “in any way you choose” she couldn’t have dreamed

how that would manifest itself. How HE would manifest HIMSELF in her.

 
How her body would be used to co-knit together the muscle fiber and bone marrow of the Savior.

 
How her blood would spill all over the barn floor as his would years later on the cross.

 
How in the years that followed she would cook for, wash clothes for, worry after her boy, like all

mothers do. She would go on, doing the ordinary, everyday tasks that women today carry on doing.

She fetched water, prayed, tickled her kids. She went to market, greeted neighbors, and loved her

devoted husband. By the external indicators, most would have said an everyday woman. Yet in the

midst of her ordinary life, there was a simply extraordinary reality … she was serving God in unnoticed

ways.

 
I don’t understand why God chose to enter the world in flesh and blood in this simple way, through one

woman. When he could have come in a way that was noticed by all. And as is true with so much of my

faith, what I don’t understand at the same time makes perfect sense.

 
Why wouldn’t God want us women to have a special spot in the process? To bring a holy calling on what

others see as the ordinary? Mary’s most sacred spot in humanity’s history is due to her special closeness

to Jesus. Her relationship with the one who saved her.

 
Can’t we all claim that? That which moves us from ordinary to extraordinary has nothing to do with our

to-do lists or our titles and has everything to do with our relationship with the one who saved us. Carry

on friends serving God in unnoticed ways. It’s through the humblest of ways that we change the world.

 
Alexandra Kuykendall is the author of The Artist’s Daughter: A Memoir. She is a speaker, writer and editor for MOPS International. But don’t be fooled by titles, most of her days are spent washing dishes, driving to and from different schools and trying to find a better solution to the laundry dilemma. You can connect with her at AlexandraKuykendall.com.

Getting on God's "Nice List"

By Jessica Fick

In Mark 7, religious teachers called Pharisees were giving Jesus a hard time about his disciples and how they didn’t follow certain rules — rules that the Pharisees had turned into a way of trying to get on God’s nice list.  A list they thought would make their lives perfect, ideal, worshipful to God.

We can do a similar thing this time of year — try to do Christmas “right” — bake cookies for exchanges, host amazing parties, pick out (and ship on time) gifts to loved ones, sing carols with heartfelt adoration of baby Jesus. We may do all of these things because they are on our mental list of what a proper Christmas is supposed to be. God is never impressed by our lists of what we think is right.

In response to the Pharisees Jesus said — “What comes out of you is what defiles you, not what goes into you. For from within, out of your hearts, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, greed, malice, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, arrogance and folly.  All these evils come from inside and defile you.”  (Mark 7:20-23)

My heart often has less fa-la-la-la-la and more folly during the month of December.

You know how folly is defined? A lack of good sense. Stupidity. Thoughtlessness. I chase folly this time of year when I overcommit myself, set a “pinteresting” standard for what my Christmas should be like, and then feel sad or guilty when my kids and I end up crying with a strand of burned out Christmas lights at our feet. 

There are so many good parts of the holidays but there are also really difficult emotions and experiences. A lot of things that go unseen but linger and fester in our hearts. They come out in ugly ways like snapping at our kids, gorging on Christmas cookies because we feel alone, insecure or depressed. Overspending because we want our families to know they’re loved. 

Out of the heart come things that defile us. 

Just as he entered the mess of the world, Jesus is able to come into our broken, frantic hearts and make something new.  In our hearts he settles down when we invite him in to show us a different way. Instead of broken relationships with God and others, we can be connected to God, the source of love. Instead of greed he makes us thankful for all that he’s given us. Instead of folly he gives us wisdom to care for ourselves, our relationships and our world.  Jesus is able to lead us. But we need to invite him to do so.

 Put that on your Christmas list.

Jessica lives with her husband and two sons in Cleveland, OH and works with InterVarsity Christian Fellowship teaching college students how to talk about Jesus without sounding like creepy robotic salespeople. Follow her blog about evangelism, culture, motherhood and thrift-store adventures at www.jessicafick.com or on twitter @JessicaLeepFick.

Deeper

A Special Message from Elisa Morgan, Publisher

She was exhausted. On "empty." Dry.

As she pulled her car into a parking slot, she actually wondered if she had the energy to drag her overnight bag - and her body - into the lobby of the retreat center. Three days and two nights. Would it be enough? Would she be "refilled" enough to cope with the drain of her life?

After checking in at the counter, she was pointed to the director's office - one necessary stop before she hit the carpet of her private room and the waiting bed. She knocked. A voice beckoned her and she entered.

Warm, crinkly eyes welcomed her to sit in the soft upholstered chair. Water was poured from a crystal pitcher into a clean, clear glass. Water. Her throat tightened against the parch.

"What do you hope to gain from your time here?" The question was simple, coming to her across the short space between her and the director. She swallowed and croaked a response, "I'm so dry. I'm praying that God will refill me - that he will pour water back into the well of my life."

"Oh friend," came the reply, "It doesn't work that way. A dry well can't be refilled by water being poured into it. The only way to access new water for a dry well is to dig deeper."

To another woman much in need of water, Jesus said: "Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but those who drink the water I give will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give them will become in them a spring of water welling up to eternal life." John 4:13-14

The meaning our name - FullFill - is represented in this story of a dry woman and an invitation to dig deeper to discover springs of eternal provision. We are empty. We are thirsty. We can't give to others what we don't have ourselves. We, women whom God has called to live out our influence, are invited to Jesus first to be filled to full before we pour ourselves out into the lives of those around us. We are called to dig deeper. FullFill helps us to do just that.

How are you? Thirsty? Full? Somewhere in between? Where is God inviting you to "dig deeper" that you might discover a new source of moisture? And where might he be nudging you to pour from your resources back into FullFill so that others might be replenished?

Once each year, I ask FullFill women to give back to FullFill so that it might continue to fill other women to full. FullFill is FREE. The digizine library of twelve issues with their rich media applications - which garner some 400,000 impressions each year - are sent to women for FREE. The 52 Weekly ReFills arriving like a sip of refreshment each Monday morning to the 10,000 who have registered to receive them - for FREE.

Our tiny budget of $25,000 underwrites the cost of maintaining our online platforms and producing two beautiful and challenging digizines and 52 inspiring Weekly ReFills each year - with no salaries paid. Did you get that? No one at FullFill takes a salary. Not even me.

And once a year, I ask you to give back so that other women can be replenished with the resources you've come to depend on. Pick your number? $1 covers one woman for one year. $50 underwrites 50 women. $100 replenishes 100 women. $500 fills 500 women.

Every gift is tax deductible as FullFill is a ministry of Mission: Momentum, a 501(c)(3) nonprofit organization.

Will you give back to keep FullFill FREE to fill others?

-Take a look at the video in the side bar and on our website if you'd like to know more.

-Send your gift by mail to

FullFill
PO Box 461546
Aurora, CO 80046

-Give electronically at by clicking here!

Dig deeper so that women can continue to be replenished - to live out their influence.

Living full-filled,



Elisa Morgan
Publisher, FullFill.org