By Tracey D. Bianchi
FullFill™ Advisor
I have this little thing that I do in my mind. It happens almost every day, sometimes multiple times a day. At work, on a plane, on a bus, at home, on a walk. It happens when I listen to good sermons, good music, while reading good books, or even simply having a good conversation.
Maybe you can relate to this little neurotic tick that I have. The one that makes your heart leap a little bit and say “ooh, I want to to that” or it’s sister statement “ooh, if only I could be like that.”
“I want to sing like that, look like that, pray like that, lead like that.”
It’s the part of me who is so motivated by the world-changing efforts of others that I suddenly find myself trampled with a desire to tweak my life, hoping that it will be launched on a similar trajectory as the accomplished person I’ve just encountered.
I’ve checked my heart. Honestly, it is not a jealous emotion (except when it has to do with a fabulous pair of boots). Here is how it happens, it starts as a bit of adrenaline when I discover something new. Take, for example, a powerful sermon. This sermon makes me want to think and pray and become somehow different than I was before.
Then it makes me want to change my life and my adrenaline starts pumping as I start to think about how I may agree with the message and want to use the thoughts in my life and then in the wider world. And then suddenly I start to wonder what it would be like to have a message that mattered.
And I start to wonder if my life matters and because God loves me and just happened to fashion me in His image, I know that, indeed, my life does matter.
So I start to ponder the myriad of ways I might make my little dent on this planet. The heart, the soul, the mind, the gifts, the talents, the call to leadership, and on it goes. And I start to talk too fast and drink more caffeine and I start to pray and type and dream.
And then SLAM sooner or later I hit some sort of bump in the proverbial road that sends me and my adrenaline-filled dream careening off a cliff. Maybe it is denial, doubt, lack of resources, distrust, redirection, or more importantly, God’s Spirit telling me “sweetie, that’s not what I meant for you.”
Whatever the cause, I flip off the road because it wasn’t the journey I was meant to be on anyway.
After standing up to wipe off the dust and clear my head a bit, I realize that God may have set that little snag in place because I was pursuing someone else’s dream. I found myself motivated to do big things for God in the way another person was led to do. It looked like it worked for them right?
Many of you are logging onto this blog because you’ve just discovered FullFill. Welcome! In the span of one week we are promoting this resource at both the Gifted to Lead event at Willow Creek (South Barrington, IL) and the MOPS International Convention (Nashville, TN).
Two Spirit-filled, God-oriented places where adrenaline, ideas, wisdom, and insight are flying high speed from all directions. Two places where God is nudging women into leadership roles and the temptation can easily be to say “ooh, I want to lead like that!”
So as you engage with what you may have gleaned from those places or from the leaders featured on this site, I encourage you to remember that God is calling you to lead like YOU. To reflect, engage with Him, and to ponder your own unique rhythm. So rather than making a statement about how we want to lead, we can instead ask God “Hey, how have you called me to lead?”
Peace to you on the journey!
I think it's very difficult not to be thrown into a thinking and wishing mode when you see dynamic speakers saying the things that you have been muddling over in your mind, wanting to change. That line between "ooh, I wanna" and "ooh, GOD, what do YOU want for me" can be easily crossed over when what's in front of our eyes is tangible and real and "Why can't I, too?"
ReplyDeleteI'm studying the Proverbs 31 woman with a group of women, and I'm amazed at how many women just collapse under the thought of having to measure up to her. Obviously, we're not supposed be in every regard; we're not the same women! But there's a "ooh, I wanna" when we're not focused on the bigger and more personal plan God has for us.
We need to find a way to raise up women who are "real" but not so high as to set them on a pedestal to be "oohed" over. [I would hope that this is part of the mission of FullFill!]
Let's celebrate our uniqueness, as women and as one-of-a-kind individuals, giving God the glory for all, and let's talk about how we can be content with His marvelous plan for us.
Amen! Wonderful comment on Proverbs indeed. A great reminder. God has uniquely gifted and called all of us. Finding our place means settling into the rhythm of His Holy Spirit and His wisdom in our lives. Such a great privilege to know that as we find our gifts and calling that we do so alongside our Creator (who knows our hearts better than we do). Good stuff.
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