Monday, June 2, 2014

Why Can't We All Just Get Along?

By Elisabeth Klein
I met with a new friend recently who is still processing a broken relationship. She has done the hard work, she has turned over every rock. And yet she can't seem to fully let go (her words, not mine). She said something like this, "I just don't know why two Christians who once loved each other well can't end things better than this. Is this really the best we can do?"
I have struggled with this so very much. It seems to me that two people who claim to know, love, trust, follow and obey Jesus should be able to relationally have their acts together, that they should be able to be - at the very least - civil with each other.
Even so, I have a few people in my life who I do not speak to. A small few, but still. These few do not like who I am. And with these few, I have had to come to terms with the reality that distance is the only thing that will make our relationships - or lack
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thereof - work. They are no longer in my life.
In each of these cases, I have had to choose to move on with a ridiculous number of loose ends dangling between us. Feeling completely misunderstood, completely judged, and sometimes lied about.
Over the past couple years as I've grappled with being divorced and what that means. The primary relationship I was in for the past two decades could no longer be sustained and that made me feel like a relational, emotional and spiritual failure. But I have come to realize something-not everyone gets along. And that's okay.
This may seem like a cop-out. Or like something a divorced person would say to make herself feel better.
But really and truly, it's just a fact.
We live in a fallen world. Jesus has not set all things right yet. There is sin and addiction and abuse and people make mistakes all day every day and hurt each other. Sometimes there is nothing that can be done but to part ways.
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So in some quiet moments when past hurts come to mind, I must cling to the grace of it all. Jesus died for things like this. Some things - no...many things - he has resurrected in my life and I am reaping the benefits. But still others, I will have to wait. And I must learn to wait.
Elisabeth is a single mom to Sara (17) and Jack (15-1/2). She loves spending time with her kids, her friends, reading and writing. She is the author of Moving on as a Single Christian Mom, Living Through Divorce as a Christian Woman: Questions & Suggestions, Surviving in a Difficult Christian Marriage: Questions & Suggestions, Unraveling: Hanging onto Faith through the End of a Christian Marriage, At the Corner of Broken & Love; One Girl, Third World; He Is Just That Into You;In Search of Calm: Renewal for a Mother's Heart; and Calm in My Chaos: Encouragement for a Mom's Weary Soul. Visit her website at If you are in a difficult marriage or find yourself going through a divorce, she has created two private groups on Facebook that she would like to invite you to. Simply email her at for more information.

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