Sunday, February 27, 2011

Love One Another

By Lisa Littlewood

Several months ago I arrived at church, pulled out my program and read the name of that week’s speaker with the words “Missionary to Africa” written next to his name.
I won’t lie, part of me wanted to get up and walk out. I know, I’m a Christian; I’m not supposed to admit that.

Do you ever feel that way? Like you know you should be able to listen to a sermon about the needs of the world, but you’re not sure you can. That the ever present needs of your own family and life seem so pressing that you’re not sure you want an added measure of guilt. Guilt that part of your responsibility as a Christian might be to tread through the woods of a remote jungle and preach the gospel.

Thankfully, that pastor cut me a little slack. His message was something I was not expecting and it was something that changed the way I view my life as a ‘missionary’—how I view my responsibility to reach out to others.

In summary he said, “I’m not going to tell you that you need to go to Africa, or another foreign country to preach the gospel. Not everyone is called to do that. I’m going to tell you that God has placed us each on this planet with a particular sphere of influence, with eyes to see the world in front of us. Who is in front of your eyes? Your neighbors, the inner city poor, a colleague at work, a member of your own family?”

Hmmm. That hit home. Literally.

We had recently moved to a new neighborhood: a neighborhood in which not one person had stopped by to say “hello” or drop off a plant or a plate of cookies. At first I felt jilted, then God started to change my heart.

What was going on in their homes? In their lives?

My heart was moved.

Not to hop on a flight to Africa, but to find a way to reach out to my neighbors; to be a light in their lives, to love them in some way.

“A new command I give you,” Jesus says, “Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another (John 13:34-35).”

As I thought about this verse I realized that people don’t often understand God’s love through our words (though that can happen), it is often our actions, our “love” that catches their attention.

Recently, I put my excuses (a messy house and busy toddlers) on pause and my thoughts into action. I invited two families new to the neighborhood, a single mom (and widow) from across the street, and another family we had become friends with, over for dessert. It was a wonderful evening and I feel as if we made the first move towards connection with them.

More importantly, I feel as if I finally made the first step towards reaching those God has placed in front of my eyes, within my sphere, and I’m praying that God keeps my eyes and heart open towards those He wants me to love.

Lisa Littlewood is the busy mother of two pre-school age children who loves to run, write and read. Her active pursuits to blend her God-given passions (namely writing and encouraging other women) into her messy mothering days inspire many of her blog entries at www.littlewritermomma.blogspot.com.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

(Un)Twisted Sisters

By Halee Gray Scott

Most of us have memories of them. Those girls on the playground, in high school, in our sorority house and even in our workplace, who were bent on making life miserable for anyone not included in the elite “clique.” They teased, bullied and alienated. These are the girls now epitomized in a slew of Hollywood teen films such as the “Mean Girls,” but it’s a relational dynamic that strings it way through human history all the way back to Rachel and Leah: the harsh reality of female rivalry.

In politics, business and our personal lives, both men and women are guilty of merciless competition, envy and catty criticism. We don’t need to look any further than ESPN or E! to know that competition and envy abound in relationships regardless of gender, but in relationships between females, it takes on a new form because of the scarceness of opportunities for women and even the scarceness of “good” men.

Often times envy is spurred on by fear: fear of rejection, of alienation, of anonymity, of a perceived purposeless of one’s life because ‘someone else’ did it first.

Unfortunately, these expectations and fears can cause women, even more so than men, to have twisted relationships in which we are constantly comparing or criticizing one another.

As Kelly Valen, author of Twisted Sisterhood: Unraveling the Dark Legacy of Female Friendships, stated in an interview regarding an incident of alienation and abandonment by her sorority sisters, “Although the incident obviously involved both men and women, it was that lingering hurt that I had from women and that betrayal … we have expectations of support from women.”

Yet, in 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14, the apostle Paul calls Christians to rise above these contentions and set an example for those outside the faith.

In this passage, Paul exhorts us to “untwist” our relationships by encouraging one another, building up one another, helping one another, and seeking the good for each other. Matthew Henry comments, “We should not only be careful about our own comfort and welfare, but promote the comfort and welfare of others also. He was a Cain who said, ‘Am I my brother’s keeper?’ We must bear one another’s burdens, so as to fulfill the law of Christ.”
I’m learning that to truly “untwist” our relationships, we must be willing, as Christian women leaders, to stretch ourselves and let go of both our judgments and perceptions about other women—as well as our fears about our own perceived shortcomings—by acknowledging and supporting the giftedness of other Christian women, our fellow sisters.

Halee Gray Scott, PhD, is an author, scholar and researcher who focuses on spiritual formation and leadership development for women leaders. She can quote Shakespeare by heart or give an hour-long discourse on the French Enlightenment, but she cannot make Ellie, her two-year-old daughter, eat or sleep on everyone else’s schedule. She writes on Christian women and leadership at www.hgscott.com.

Monday, February 14, 2011

World Bicycle Relief

by Jennifer Grant

The night before Kathy and I flew to Zambia, our friend James joined us for a farewell dinner. We ate Thai take-out, channeled Karen Blixen, (“I had a farm in Africa…”) and sporadically sung snippets of “Eye of the Tiger,” of all things.

Kathy and I were punchy. We are both mothers of four and had spent hours during the previous weeks carefully arranging schedules, carpools, and uncountable details.

Despite being in the company of two of my best friends, I was elsewhere for much of the evening. Crumpled to-do lists still swam in my mind, making it nearly impossible for me to be truly present; I wasn’t truly present.

That soon changed. Over the next two weeks, my sense of my place in the world, as well as my perspective about how to address global poverty, were recalibrated. And I would never see bicycles the same way again.

Do you remember your first bike? I loved mine. It was Popsicle-pink with a flowered “banana” seat and monkey handlebars. I coasted down what we call “hills” here in my flat Midwestern town, felt the gravel shoot up from the path as I sped home from school, and went “no handed” for a few precious seconds, my arms raised into the air.

In Zambia – as in other resource-poor places around the world – bicycles are more than a happy diversion. They save lives and help to draw whole communities up out of poverty. Zambia is one of the poorest countries on earth. One in seven adults lives with HIV; life expectancy is 39 years – a birthday my friend and I had already celebrated.

The incidence of gender-based violence is high. When girls walk long distances to school, too often they are victims of rape. There is a traditional belief in Zambia that when an HIV-positive man has sexual intercourse with a virgin, the virus leaves his body. This tragic myth increases the pervasiveness of rape and HIV in the country.

World Bicycle Relief partners with World Vision and others to provide students and HIV caregivers with bicycles. More than 23,000 caregivers have received bicycles and the goal of WBR’s Bicycle Education Empowerment Program (BEEP) is to provide 50,000 students with bikes designed specifically for the Zambian landscape. In 2010, nearly 6,000 bicycles were distributed to students.

Recognizing the special dangers girls face as they walk to school, Zambian girls receive 70% of the bikes from WBR. A recent WBR report notes that when girls own bicycles, school attendance improves greatly – the statistic jumps from 66% to 89%.

For adults, bicycles save time and increase carrying capacity, allowing people to transport crops and dairy products to market while they are fresh.

Now, sometimes, nearly a year after my trip to Zambia, I am elsewhere again. Not crunched in a flurry of to-do lists, but lost in my imagination. I see those bumpy, dirt roads. I hear women singing. I see the expanse of blue, sky and trees as far as I can see. And I remember seeing a girl, her white blouse and plaid skirt almost a blur, riding home from school on a hot afternoon.
Journalist Jennifer Grant’s memoir “Love You More: The Divine Surprise of Adopting My Daughter” will be published in summer 2011 by Thomas Nelson publishers. Find her online at jennifergrant.com.

To learn more about World Bicycle Relief’s efforts in Zambia, visit http://www.worldbicyclerelief.org/

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Safety

By Carla Foote

I live in a reasonably safe neighborhood in an urban area. I am watchful when I get in my car in dark or isolated spots. I try not to walk by myself after dark. I keep the doors on my home locked, especially if I am home alone. I am careful but not fearful.

But I also travel, read widely and have friends around the world, so I know that safety is at times elusive and that my own safety is not guaranteed.

While I can take some steps for my own safety, as my children have grown into adults, their decisions sometimes stretch me and cause me concern for their safety. And at the same time, their stretches make me realize that I intentionally raised them to care about the world and have a broad view of their part in God’s work in the world. I never intended for them to sit in a fortress and express their Christian faith to the walls.

So when my daughter recently shared her intention to work on the US/Mexico border with deportees, I found myself hiding behind the safety flag and mentioning that I didn’t want to read about her in a headline – a story that might include kidnapping, drug lords and violence.

Selfishly, I cared more about her safety than those people she felt called to serve. People who are dumped on the border are not particularly safe as they are left to fend for themselves with limited resources. Those caught in the border tangle include women and children.

I also reflect back on my own mother and remember her asking about the safety of a mission trip I intended to take to Central America in the 1980’s. I blithely assured her it was safe, when in reality, what ability did I have to guarantee safety?

We try to guard our safety by being careful. What an interesting word – careful – full of care. Watchful, attentive, not being stupid. But an excess of care can lead to fear. Fearful. Frozen in the fortress. Unable to answer the call because of fear of the risks.

Perhaps a FullFill™ woman isn’t too careful or fearful, but full of passion for what God has called her to do and who God has called her to be. Passion takes us to a dimension of living freely where God has called us, beyond safety, care and fears and into a whole-hearted way of living.
Rather than sitting in fear and praying for safety and carefulness, I am challenged to affirm my daughter’s passion and pray for wisdom. I also extend my prayers to be open to continued stretching and passion in my own life and to not settle for a season of safety.

Carla Foote is the Sr. Director of Community and Resources for MOPS International. She was the editor of FullFill from 2007-2009 and continues in an advisory role. Along with encouraging her children in their endeavors, she enjoys gardening and writes about faith and flowers at www.urbangardenver.wordpress.com.

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Who Knew Jeggings Could be Spiritual?

By Hilary Strat, FullFill™ Alliance Manager

“Great news, girls! We can each have a pair!”

Sheer excitement poured forth as my girlfriends and I discovered the very pants we had coveted on a friend a few days earlier—on sale! What was this highly sought-after pant you might ask? (Who knows . . .you might even be wearing them right now.) Jeggings!

For those of you who have not yet “experienced” a pair of jeggings, imagine a pair of pants made out of a denim fabric with the elasticity of a legging, complete with fake pockets and belt loops. Jeggings, we swore, were the most flattering, most practical pair of pants we had every owned. We convinced each other that if we didn’t already own a pair, we needed to fix that as soon as possible.

Fast forward one year: Christmas. Friends and family. And (cue dramatic music) pictures. We chatted again about our formerly favorite fashion item, but with a different attitude than the previous year. Most of us had gained weight and looked a little different than when we had rejoiced over the ease of making outfits without extra zippers and buttons. The structure of the jeans we had been wearing before our “discovery” kept us all the more aware of which foods we were consuming and the frequency with which we were exercising each week.

We came to the devastating realization that we had allowed too much S-T-R-E-T-C-H.

Many times it takes too much of a bad habit, a draining relationship or a need for control, to realize we’ve taken our lives into our own hands without seeking the Lord for structure. We think we have it all together so we move another step without asking for his guidance. We give advice, to ourselves and to others without consulting the Word. We continue to stretch the limits, leaving behind the bounds he already has in place for us.

There is safety in the structure that he provides. The Lord desires for us to draw closer to him—in our walk with him, in our relationships with others and ultimately, in the realization that this world is not enough. He is our enough. He provides the structure that this world has told us to blatantly ignore.

The jeggings gals had replaced function for fashion in the same way many of us replace God with something more “comfortable.” In the end, it turned out the structure of our good ol’ denim blue jeans was what was best for us after all.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Stretch yourself to go deeper into the Word

By Keri Wyatt Kent

We live in a culture of sound bites and Tweets. While sharing your thoughts in 140 characters or less makes one more concise, it rarely is enough space to delve deeper.

What works in social media is less effective as an approach to Scripture, despite the proliferation of Verse-A-Day calendars and short, pithy devotionals. It’s been said that Scripture is like a lake whose depths have never been fully plumbed. And yet, we are content to splash in the shallows of God’s word instead of stretching ourselves to go deeper. Our growth and our effectiveness as influencers is thwarted as a result.

Scripture itself decries depth for the sake of mere intellectual attainment. Rather, I want to seek to study Scripture in a deeper way for the purpose of spiritual transformation: that as a leader, I would be changed, slowly conformed to the image of Christ. And because of that, I’d be able to facilitate transformation in others. This is almost impossible if I don’t read, or don’t accurately understand, God’s word.

Where to start? Take advantage of tools that exist, online or at your local Christian bookstore. Here’s one way to do so:

Read a given text. Pick out what you would call keywords –the words you would tag in a blog post. Look each word up in a concordance (there are some really great ones online, like www.biblestudytools.com). Just as we can understand an English word better if we hear it used in a sentence, we can understand biblical words better if we see them in other contexts.
Using a concordance with a lexicon (like the one available at www.blueletterbible.org, for example) can take you even deeper, by showing you which Greek or Hebrew word that the English word translates, and other verses containing that same word.

This is not study for study’s sake, but rather, a way to more deeply understand God’s word. If we are Christian leaders, yet skim along the surface of his Word, we and those we lead miss out.
When I’m willing to go deeper into God’s word, and thus allow it to inform my leadership and stretch my mind and heart, I will be more deeply connected to the living Word, Jesus. But I will also find in that quest the heart of Scripture, which is transformational wisdom. I will become a better leader by stretching myself to be a biblically literate leader.

Keri Wyatt Kent is the author of Deeper into the Word: Reflections on 100 Words from the New Testament, a book she describes this way: “If a Bible dictionary and a deep, thoughtful devotional had a baby, it would be this book.” Keri writes and speaks to help people slow down, simplify and find God in their story, and loves to help make Scripture relevant to 21st Century life. Learn more at www.keriwyattkent.com or www.facebook.com/keriwyattkent. Find Deeper into the Word on amazon by clicking here.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

It's not really a stretch...

by Elisa Morgan

Okay - you already clicked to open this Weekly ReFill. You're expecting - hoping for - some words of encouragement, or insight, or training, or help. Words for today. For right where you're living. For just what you're facing.

Guess what? They're already written. You just need to click once more. It's really not a stretch.

I know, you think, "I don't have time to read the whole magazine right now. I'll do it later." But then you don't. Ever. You forget about it. It falls below the line of pressing right-now-ness.

Can I talk you out of closing this email without one more click?

-Do you need some perspective on how to take a stretch in your leadership, your faith and your life?
Click here for Onwards and Upwards.
-Are you desperate for a turnkey curriculum for your small group TONIGHT? Click here for the FullFill™ Fountain template.
-Do you need to set your eyes on a woman who's using her gifts - just to give you hope that God might one day use you as well?
Click here and read about Pomegranate Place.
-Do you know the five traits most desired in a leader?
Click here for Quick Fill.
-Have you been wondering if you have any hospitality chromosome whatsoever?
Click here for "Untamed Hospitality."

And if you don't do any of the above, at the least, don't forget to bookmark FullFill™ to read later.

The staff of FullFill™ spent months writing and designing and acquiring just what you need to stretch so that you wouldn't have to bend backwards to get what you need to grow. It's really not a stretch! Click here.

And then, let us know if it helps?